a year out

With a limited time that we had in our degree and the theoretical strategy that our uni has , Melbourne university architecture students are urged to find practical experience outside.

What I like, I get paid double of my scholarship and taste the real architecture. Contracts, clients, colleague, office, boss and more importantly the real design.

But what I dislike.. despite I owned an excellent portfolio (shameless confession) which could make ladies at the reception desk fall in love with .. (ehem),  there is too many obstacles arise constantly which  causes me in my subconscious mind to crawl with a white flag begging for mercy ..

visa issue, no firm is hiring, university weird rules, rental problem..

I have to admit, I nearly give up after feel a bit tired about all these but alhamdulillah, someone has remind me how I used to be! I owe you..

These day students are abused by the the government boundary rules. The fact that we are poor, innocent and yet grow with a white canvas heart has been wrongly viewed by the authority.

Le Corbusier had once travel thousand miles with feet and wagons to German, worked with the legendary Peter Behren and brought back to France a scroll holding a secret of concrete portal frame or known as Dom-ino. I mean look, we can do better these days escpecially in the age of jet plane, but it will not be the same, plus it wont happen without money, visa procedure and nationality issue.. think about it.. impediment created will kill the human true nature of thirsty for knowledge.

Young kids are no longer excited to break the E=mc² rules or even understand why an apple dropped on Newton’s head. They are abroad for the sake of being abroad, and of course scores in exams and sponsored by some rich affiliations. Being abroad heh?  I can see some of them are gravitated to online games rather than exploring the new world. reason? “I’m here to get good mark, go back home, and work with the affiliation.” I know you are trying to be ‘bersyukur’, but dont you get it? you are the chosen one and with your genius fast absorbing brain, you should capable to make yourself a legend. or at least a respectful person.

I will make sure my year out is worth more that what everyone is expected. But I need to be picky about the firms’ location as well. As Muslims need to pray 5 times a day and attend Jumaah prayer,  I don’t feel good if I skip one of these for the work sake.  (I got one in Brighton Beach, but it is so far away from mosque). And yes, to be picky in choosing jobs’ location means I have a really uncertain route in front of me and what I have to do is dua.

One thing for sure one day insyaAllah I will be a legend, I will be a hero, and I will be an avant garde. Just wait and see as my name will be written in the architecture history books.

ps:// i have battled depression for months and so far I have able to manage it quite well, but sometimes it does come back to bite me in the ass. Lately someone has cheer me up but luckily the injection of philophobia in me is still strong.. or I am lying to myself? I dont know.. I wish I know..